Vacation

I have been on vacation from work now for 3 days. In that time, I have done nothing. Not that this is a bad thing but I had plans for the week of never ending lessons. On Monday, I went for my lesson and the horse I was supposed to ride was being temperamental. She is in season. Then we took out Murphy. He is another Paint at the farm who happens to belong to my instructor. He is 15.3 (which btw I think I like better than 16.1). He was calm but the issue was the ring. We have had so much snow that now the banks are melting into the ring and it is like a swamp in there. I got on Murphy but only to walk around a few times when Melissa said something about sinking. That was the end of that. So yesterday was so dam cold I didn't even leave the house. Today the ring should be still hard from yesterday even though the weather idiots are saying 42 today its almost 1p and its still 33 out. So I'm going for my lesson at 1:30p and we will see how it goes.
My other issue that I have been trying to deal with, is my confidence. I want off that lunge line but I don't want the horse to take off unless I ask him to. I have fallen 3 times and don't want to do it again. I am at wits end with this. I watch other people ride, kids no less, and I am a big baby. I was never like this when I was younger. I spoke to Melissa who said this will pass with more lessons. I am thinking that I wont be showing this year. I wont be ready for it. Oh well.